Hope for the best, expect the worst.

I've had a lot of time to think.

The past month has really taught me a lot about myself. It has taught me that I had never been in love like I was with you before. I say was but I mean I still am. The 7 months that we were together we quite literally the best 7 months of my life. It felt like I'd struck gold with you. Not only did we have so much in common, but I just clicked with you right from the word go. This whole time I have been trying to look at the postives in what has happened to get me through. I've realised that I have got some of the most amazing friends, who before now I had really taken for granted. I've managed to get my own independance and I've genuinely enjoyed having my own space. But the truth is, Lewis that I miss you. I miss you so much. All along I have said that there is no one else I would rather be with and I stand by that. I don't know how to get over you when a huge part of me doesn't want to, and can't. Despite what has happened and what you did, I still care for you so much. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I miss everything that we had and would still do anything to have it back. I can forgive you for this because I love you that much. I'm so upset that I can't be with you anymore and it is absolutely killing me.

I don't know what to say or do anymore. I just miss you, a lot.