Skinny Love

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you,
But it'll be a different kind,
I'll be holding all the tickets,
You'll be holding all the fines.

Come on Skinny Love just last the year...

Hello 2010. Too much has happened since my last entry.
The summer of '09 was least to say, abysmal. It started with a bang, Si was going to Kos and I was terrified of him cheating on me. He didnt, as far as I know. Later in July, my dog, whom I grew up with for the best part of 13 years died. Even though we knew it was coming for a while, nothing can prepare you for how much it is going to hurt. One good thing was Results Day, to which I found I had been accepted into my first choice University with ACC, A in Theatre Studies to which I was so happy. I went to Leeds Festival which feels like tradition now, had an amazing time, but not the best, not by far. As I was too aware that within the following week my heart would be breaking. I got swine flu, which stopped me from spending the last few days I could with Si. The first time I was him after that, was the last of our relationship. As breakups go, it was the sweetest it could have been. But my heart has never been broken like that before, I felt like I couldn't breath. I couldn't stop crying. It felt like I was losing the best thing that had ever happened to me. As if that wasnt enough, my so called 'friends' kicked me whilst I was down; they bailed on our (much needed and anticipated) holiday literally 12 hours before we were leaving for the airport. My bags were already packed, and they showed little, or no remorse.

I wallowed for too long. But long enough to feel so shit that I refused to feel like that anymore, or ever again. I picked myself up, and with the support of my best friend, I got through the toughest time of my life, just in time for Uni.

Needless to say, The weeks commencing September 26th - December 18th were the best weeks of my entire life. I have never had such a good time before, or met such amazing people. One of whom, unexpectidly caught my attention. I had no intention of 'getting with' someone else so soon after Si. But it just happened. The first night we got here, we kissed. Meaningless? Sure. But we stayed up all night until 6am just chatting. Nothing else. Every night after that we always seemed to end up together. There was just some magnetic attraction, which at first was just a drunken thing that always happened. Though, soon it turned into a sober thing that always happened. We ended up seeing each other for a few months, until one faithful night in November when we decided to make it offical. He took me to London for my birthday to go shopping and chill around. It was so unexpected, and one of the sweetest surprises. He is lovely. And so so different. Unlike other guys I've been with, he's much more reserved, which although different, is refreshing. The gestures he makes, and the occassional compliments he gives, are real. So real, that it makes me really believe that he cares. The irony of hearing something less, makes you understand more that you genuinely mean something to them. Our relationship is not perfect, but I would not have it any other way. I am falling for him, if I haven't already. I am not wearing my heart on my sleeve anymore. After getting hurt so much after Si, I am treading carefully. But he really means a lot to me, I wouldnt want to lose him for anything.

I have met some great friends, whom of which I have sorted out getting a house with next year. Eight of us, in this gorgeous (for a student pad anyway) house. I am so excited to move in.
It's semester two now. Being home for Christmas was nice, but it felt chlaustrophobic. Home hadn't changed, but it felt different. I miss Mum and Dad, I'm trying to persuade them to get another dog, because not having one feels too empty. If I could have Molly back, I would have her back over any other dog. She is not being replaced. She will not be forgotten. I love her and miss her and cry over her. But we must move on.

I'm going to bed, I've got cramps and I said I'd wake up early before His exam to make him breakfast. I hope this semester, and this year as a matter of fact, is as good if not better than the last.


Happy New Year, blogspot.